We all say those words. Some say it not knowing what the words truly mean or the vast depth of the commitment which we’ve agree to bind ourselves by. For some, it may be, ” I do”, others might be, ” I love you” or “Qoobool Hai (Accepted)”. Whatever the words we may pronounce which are dictated by our cultures, religions and customs the predicament is the same. We’ve chosen to commit ourselves to marriage with one person till death do us apart. Well, at least that’s how its suppose to be…
As young girls, we often fantasize about marriage and what love is like. If you believe in the Hollywood portrayal of the ‘happily ever-after’, be prepared for the shock of your life. Most girls falsely believe that life after marriage is going to be full of roses, lingerie and romantic getaways. This could not be further from the truth. Marriage is a serious commitment which has tremendous responsibilities and obligations. Prepare yourself to face the trials and tribulations that life will throw at you every turn you make.
In order to ensure that you are upholding your side of the commitment in a marriage, here are some tips. These are written for the new bride or bride-to-be.
1. Be content with what God gives you. If you do not find contentment in your situation with what He has given you then, you never will because the grass is always be greener on the other side. Always look at those who are below you, not above you. Begin to count your blessings.
2. Fulfill your wifely and motherly duties towards your husband and children. This is the basic principle of a successful marriage. How can a marriage function properly if you are not willing to uphold your end of the bargain? A man who is outside the house working all day does not want to come to a wife who has not cooked, cleaned or taken care of the house. The house is the woman’s castle so take care of it with love and passion. Modern day media presents the house wife as a worthless women with nothing better to do. Contrary to that depiction, there is no greater ‘job’ or ‘career’ that a women can have then to ensure the well-being and prosperity of her family.
3. Do not divulge your business, private life and secrets with anyone. If you need to seek advice go to the proper source, not your friends. When you share your problems with your friends, they are only receiving one side of the story. Also, they are inclined to tell you what you want to hear. The result? DISASTER! Don’t do it. Keep your problems private. When you involve family and friends in your marital affairs, everyone has an opinion. Especially in-laws. That is why its best to keep them at bay.
4. Frequently exchange words of love, mercy and intimacy as this will keep you young and in love. Don’t stop saying I love you after the honeymoon is over. And do not just say it for the sake of saying it. Say it with enthusiasm. Express it. Set aside some alone time to just lay down, relax, cuddle and caress.
5. This last piece of advice is awfully personal since it comes from my own mother to me. Its a fairly simple piece of advice which bears luscious fruit if you follow through. Make every effort to be home with your husband is home. Yes, I know it may not be possible all the time especially if there is a conflict between your work schedules. However, if it is not necessary for you to be outside the house when he is home, then you should not be. Shopping trips, girlfriend hangouts and the like should be done when he is not home. This ensures that you are spending optimal time with your husband when he is home. No man wants to come to a cold empty house after a long tiring day at work. He wants to see you at the end of the end which is why he married you. Make every attempt to serve his every need even if it means waiting on him hand and foot. For the Prophet Mohammed sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “If I were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered a woman to prostrate herself before her husband.” That is a hefty statement. Ponder upon it.
All too often, women take their husband’s hard work very lightly. If you are house wife, you should know that your husband is providing a shelter over your head, food in your stomach, clothes on your back and health and wellness. These are not small responsibilities. Rather they are hefty and cumbersome resposniblities placed on the shoulders of a man. Hence, why the man is the head of the household in Islam. In the western world, man has literally been crushed. LITERALLY. He has not the slightest bit of worth left in the eyes of these greedy narcissistic feminist women who think they have it all. These women need to take a look at history and what Islam outlines as the roles of a man and women.
Firstly, the need to accept that the man is the head of the household. Not the woman. This does not mean she has no say, but rather it means that he has the last word and his decision will stand regardless of your disapproval. Secondly, the man is to be obeyed. Being the head of the household is an authoritative position which requires obedience. If he asks you not to do something or despises something, then it is incumbent upon you to obey. Everyone can’t be the captain or else the boat will sink. Again, this does not mean that as wife you have no say in anything. You sure can voice your opinions, thoughts and ideas. What matters most is the channel you choose to voice your thoughts.
Think about it.